Sunday, October 30, 2011

10/23/11 - (AGENT S) Chamber Zero


(DATE: 10/23/11 - TIME: 2:30 - 3:00)


AGENT S: Reporting as ordered, sir.

CIA: Thank you. Come in, please.

AGENT S: Thank you, sir.

CIA: Have you ever been in here, before, (REDACTED)?

AGENT S: No sir. This is my first time.

CIA: But you've heard of it?

AGENT S: Everyone's heard of it, sir. The room with no corners.

CIA: No corners, no ears, and no eyes. We can say anything we need to in here and no one will know of it.

AGENT S: Useful to have at times.

CIA: Very useful, Agent S. Do you know why I brought you here?

AGENT S: Well, I know I didn't slip up recently. And I know I'm not in any trouble. So either you're going to surprise me with something unpleasant, or you're going to give me an assignment that no one needs to know about.

CIA: Or both.

AGENT S: An unpleasant secret assignment, sir?

CIA: Probably the most unpleasant thing I'll ever ask anyone to do. But you're the best we have for this sort of thing, (REDACTED). Your... talents make you extremely suitable.

AGENT S: Talent, sir. Singular.

CIA: Oh, more than just one, (REDACTED). I've seen your files. I know what you can do. That's why I'm giving this to you.

AGENT S: Who will I be impersonating, sir?

CIA: Well, that's entirely up to you, Agent S. But it's for one purpose. I want you to infiltrate The COMPANY, get close to SPYGOD, and find out what he's actually up to.

AGENT S: Of course, sir.

CIA: ...


CIA: Did you hear what I asked of you, (REDACTED)?

AGENT S: I did, sir. And I know you were serious. So am I.

CIA: Anyone else would complain they'd been handed an impossible mission.

AGENT S: Any Agent who complains about an impossible mission needs to find a new line of work, sir.

CIA: You really are old school, (REDACTED).

AGENT S: Very old school, sir. Can I ask why we're engaging in this?

CIA: You can ask.

AGENT S: Sir, with respect, if I'm going to perform this task to the best of my abilities, I need to know as much as I can about why. If there's things I don't need to know in case I'm compromised, that's fine, but I need...

CIA: Yes, Agent S?

AGENT S: I need a starting point. I need somewhere to begin.

CIA: How much do you know about SPYGOD?

AGENT S: I know he used to be Sergeant Storm, back during World War II. I know he was in the Liberty Patrol, when he wasn't off fighting the Cold War. I know he went into Korea before the war and was involved in the whole mess that caused the Liberty Patrol to disband and The COMPANY to form. And since then, he's essentially been The COMPANY, for better or for worse.

CIA: And which do you think it is, Agent S?

AGENT S: I think I'd like to know what you think, sir.

CIA: There are those of us who consider it to be for the worse, Agent S. There are those of us who want him out of his position. I am one of those persons, and I would like you to help me find the evidence I need to see him gone.

AGENT S: I see.

CIA: So what do you think, (REDACTED)?

AGENT S: With all due respect, sir, what I think is irrelevant. I have my orders.

CIA: Do you at least understand why?

AGENT S: I think so, sir. I heard about the mess in Neo York City with him running around and getting killed, all those times. That can't have looked good.

CIA: Did you hear about him being in Libya, just before the Colonel was killed?

AGENT S: I heard there was a rather interesting article up on Alternet this morning, sir. I haven't had time to read it yet.

CIA: Well everyone else already did, (REDACTED). The intelligence community is furious. NATO is embarrassed. The UN wants an explanation. I think the President's about ready to start moving to my side on this.--

AGENT S: But something is holding him back from the brink.

CIA: Yes.

AGENT S: And you think that SPYGOD's got something on him?

CIA: Or they're in cahoots on something. He does get a lot of private time with the President.

AGENT S: He does run The COMPANY, sir. What we are to the FBI, The COMPANY is to us. Maybe times five or ten.

CIA: I don't care, Agent S. I want him gone. We cannot afford to have our country's Supers in his hands any longer.

AGENT S: So I infiltrate The COMPANY, get close to him, and find out everything we need to know.

CIA: Yes.

AGENT S: And what if I don't find anything at all? What if he's just operating on a level where what we see as chaos and disorder is just a long game with a lot of chaff?

CIA: Then you find out something we can use.

AGENT S: I see.

CIA: This is the matter of the highest national security, (REDACTED). We have no way of knowing how badly he's !@#$ us with that Outland stunt, but it's almost a certainty that our enemies are on the move.

AGENT S: You know he's friends with DAMOCLES, sir. That could make things difficult if push comes to shove.

CIA: Don't worry about that, Agent S. When the time comes I will have that space cowboy in hand, too.

AGENT S: Very well, sir. I accept the assignment.

CIA: Good. We'll discuss what you find here, in this room. Any information you need will be read or watched here and here only. As far as anyone knows, you're investigating terror mosques in Albuquerque.

AGENT S: Very good, sir.

CIA: And if you're caught... you know what to do.

AGENT S: I won't be caught, sir.

CIA: I hope not, (REDACTED). For all our sakes. This has to work.


(AGENT S is listening to Seen and Not Seen (Talking Heads) and drinking mystery punch)

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