Friday, June 24, 2011

6/24/11 - Gay Shotgun Marriages for America

So I was watching the news tonight, taking a break from the big secret plan to deal with GORGON, and found out that New York's State Senate has narrowly voted in favor of recognizing gay marriage.

That means that, as of right now, the lovely state of New York, where I live when I'm not camping out in secret nazi bunkers, has told me that if I decide to go get gay married, I can get full recognition of that marriage.

Married, mother!@#$. Married. 

No more "daddy's roommate" nonsense that doesn't mean !@#$ when someone goes to the hospital or dies. Marriage.

None of this "domestic partners" bull!@#$ they tried to placate us with, back in the 90's. Marriage. 

Hell, I can even go get gay divorced if I need to. I'm sure a lot of my favorite lawyers are salivating over that prospect, tonight.

Saying this is a momentous thing is no little thing. It's no little thing to say it was quite an effort to make it happen, either. A few people crossed party lines at the last minute to pass it in a late-night session that was going to cause happiness to a few and anger to many either way it went.

Parse on that for a moment. If it seems to make no sense it means you don't pay attention to how American democracy works.

Gay marriage is one of those highly divisive things that, no matter which way you jump, is going to make a lot of very vocal, very powerful people angry at you. And when you try to tell one side of a contentious debate, though your vote on that debate, that they're wrong to either want something or not want it you're asking for all kinds of trouble.

But then, as Odysseus said, there's no way to remain firm on two feet and avoid it. And he would have known that if you're damned for doing or not doing, you might as well do it if it's the right thing to do.

(Or if it involves high speed chases, large explosions, lots of alcohol, and/or getting mega-laid, which pretty much accounts for most of that gentleman's true, unexpurgated career choice.)

Some might say this is going to destroy America. I recall the same things being said when they let women vote. I also recall the same things being said when they passed civil rights legislation.

Still here, aren't we?

I always tell people that America's like the proud city I live in. It was once New Amsterdam, then it was New York, now it's Neo York, but it's still the greatest city in the world. The names may change along with certain particulars, but it's the character of its people that make it what it is.

And our people have shown, however narrowly, that we are great indeed. We just need reminding of that once in a while.

Preferably without me having to use SPYGOD-vision on them over the telephone. Or threatening to.

So that's one more state down and a whole lot more to go. Who's next? Who knows?

But I'm going to take a well-deserved break from the plans and plots tonight to celebrate this change in the weather the best way I know how. Throw a really big party, get a lot of people drunk, and then stumble out into the cold and shoot large guns at snowmen that look like anti-gay protesters. Maybe not necessarily in that order, either.

Not bad, New York. Not bad at all.

(SPYGOD is listening to Liberation (Pet Shop Boys) and drinking Absolut Ruby Red)

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